1. When returning home, drink wine before and after kissing your children.
2. Do not drink wine clearly marked with standing pigs on the label (flying pigs are OK…bird flu is not transmitted in wine.)
3. Avoid sharing your wine with pigs, no matter how classy they may appear.
4. Never let a pig use your wine glass holder necklace
5. When in doubt, open a second bottle of cheap wine for the pig and serve a different bottle to your more “human-type” guests.